Toobing in Central Texas

Let me make it clear that it is toobing and not tubing or innertubing, it’s toobing. Just so we can get that straight. Why is toobing so popular? Because it involves little equipment, zero exercise, and provides refreshing entertainment. If you like to drink beer or look at people or enjoy the water or bird watch or hanging out, then toobing is for you.

Our fist step in toobing is deciding where to go. Thankfully, Central Texas offers several toobing destinations all within easy driving distance and all will a diverse subculture.

The Comal River.
Description: This is the shortest river in Texas, it is barely a mile long, and its spring fed which is important because it is what’s known as a “constant level” river. This means that if the other rivers are low, you can always count on the Comal to be available for a good toobing experience.

Where is it: In the heart of New Braunfels, Texas. Several access points, my favorite being Landa Park (the headwaters of the Comal) right by the big building with the smokestacks. There are outfitters throughout the town, however, so you can pretty much rent a toob and jump in anywhere.

Things you should know: The Comal has what’s called “The Chute” which is an old mill reconfigured into a big slide that ends in a violent whirlpool. A lifeguard there told me it was the most dangerous public swimming hole in the state. All members of the Flynn family have had to be rescued by the lifeguards at least once which is a testament to the dangers therein. This makes it one of my favorite places. In fact, most toobers on the Comal ride the chute over and over again. The first ride is free, after that it costs about $3 for a wrist band to do that. Or you can ooch free rides by just walking the long way back to a jump off point in the river, avoiding the dam/lifeguard. There is a great burger joint at the bottom of the chute on the right. You can pull up there, have a burger and fries and a beer and watch the action below. Great people watching.

The river takes you right by Schlitterbahn and right under the bungee swing there.

There are River Taxis throughout the town at various pick up spots to take you back to your car. They cost $1 or $1.50 and you can buy cab fare in advance.

The Guadalupe River
This is the “toobers river” because it offers everything but peace and quiet (see Frío River). The Guadalupe offers beautiful vistas of red cliffs, diving birds, tattoos, beer bonging lesbians, beautiful homes, trailer parks, liquored up college kids, dogs, cops, rednecks, sunburns, litter and other trash. Don’t come here expecting to commune with nature. The atmosphere is 100% party with lots of eeee-hawwws, loud music, and loud people.

Where is it: The toobable portion of the river is basically from the bottom of Canyon lake until Groene, Texas. We always put in at Gilligan’s Island where the owner Dave is honest, friendly, and very helpful given the kind of people he has to put up with day in and day out.

Things you should know: The Guadalupe also has a version of “The Chute.” This is a natural formation of rocks that form a long and narrow passageway on the left hand side of the river (there are signs warning you). The water (when it is high enough) rushes through and spins you around (keep arms and legs in). The Guadalupe is not Constant Level and is subject to the whims of the river authority who is in charge of releasing the water from the dam. Look at my links for flow rates. Anything less than 150 CFS is not worth it, anything over 250 will be fun, anything over 500 and I think they close the river to toobs (but you can still canoe). You should use an outfitter on this river who can get you back to your car relatively easily. All the bigger ones work together and watch out for each other, so you are usually in good hands.

The San Marcos River
This is another short river that runs through the town of San Marcos, which I liken to a miniaturized version of Austin. The San Marcos is verdant with a lot of foliage, therefore lots of wildlife like frogs and fish and birds and the occasional snake (they are everywhere, not just here). The best part of this river is that it flows right by the campus of Texas State University where academics are optional and partying is the norm. Makes for an interesting trip.

Where is it: In San Marcos, duh.

Things you should know: There is a dam that is not marked that you should not go over if you can help it. I nearly killed myself the first time I went. The suction under the water is very strong and it took everything I had to get out of it, and I was not drinking.

The Frio River
This is by far the prettiest most peaceful and relaxing of all the rivers, probably because it is so far from any major city. I have never toobed this river so I am going to have to research it a little. Look for my updated entry later.

More General Information
Bring sunblock and lots of water
River wallets are handy (they hang around your neck and hold money and a car key)
You can buy rafts at Academy for about $10 and an inflator for about the same. This will pay for itself in about two trips to any river.
Don’t litter, please. The litter is almost annoying as the drunkenness and public urination.
If you want to avoid crowds, go earlier in the day. On the Guadalupe the crowds that are still on the water after 4pm are really drunk and obnoxious.